Remember I said I had no brake lights even tho the fuses, connectors and bulbs were all OK? Well it turned out to be the switch at the brake pedal.
So I could have had someone up my rear but there's more.

That same switch deactivates the cruise control when you hit the brakes. Faulty switch = Cruise control stays on even when I do hit the brakes. Hate to think what would happen if I had to brake in an emergency. The engine would keep gunning to hit the preset speed.

Moral: If your brake lights don't work, don't just drive carefully, don't use cruise control. And get it fixed immediately.